Equality and Family Councils in Marriage

The Family: a Proclamation to the World, states that “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” This doctrinal concept of equal partnership is not commonly held in the world. Although each parent may hold a different role, they are to work together as partners.  A husband and wife should work together in making decisions that affect the family and the home. Elder L. Tom Perry said, “Since the beginning, God has instructed mankind that marriage should unite husband and wife together in unity. Therefore, there is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing.”

The Lord has given, through his prophets, an excellent example of how a husband and wife can work together and create unity in their home and in their marriage.  This is through family councils. I believe marital councils are essential to a marriage.  The word counsel means – as a verb, to ask for or exchange advice, ideas, or opinions, consult.  When counseling as husband and wife it is important that not just one spouse does the counseling.  Each person brings to the marriage different views, ideas, positions, knowledge, background, talents and skills that enhance the relationship. Both husband and wife should contribute to these councils. Both husband and wife should listen intently to each other, discuss, review and make decisions together. I love how the Quorum of the Twelve are described in Elder Ballard’s Book, Counseling With Our Councils – “I have noticed that each of the Brethren is not so much concerned with his own point of view as he is with listening to the point of view of others and striving to create a proper climate in the council meetings. They are sensitive to one another’s thoughts and rarely interrupt one another during their conversations. During discussion they do not push their own ideas but try to determine from the discussion what would be best for the kingdom.”  If our own family councils were held like that, much would be accomplished with love, harmony, and unity. I also love how the Counsel of the Twelve end their meetings with pie.  My husband and I end our couple counsels with FroYo.

Perry, L. T., (2004, May). Fatherhood, an eternal calling. Ensign, pg.71.