Covenant Marriage vs. Contractual Marriage

Elder David A. Bednar said in June 2006, "The ultimate blessings of love and happiness are obtained through the covenant relationship of eternal marriage."

Even though I have been married for a really long time and married in the temple, there is definite room for improvement.  There is opposition in every marriage at one time or another and there are adversities and tragedies that happen.  In a contractual marriage, when these things happen it is so easy to walk away.  I have seen that happen.  

Twenty five years ago, my second child, at the age of 3, contracted Leukemia.  This was a scary time in our lives and could have caused some tension in our marriage.  But, indeed, it made our marriage stronger.  Because of our commitment to each other and to our family, we were able to lean on each other, our ward members, family and especially the Lord throughout this process.  We actually became closer to each other through it all.  It was three years before she was fully recovered and finished with treatments.  On the other side, I personally saw three marriages collapse and end over their child’s diagnosis of Leukemia. This broke my heart.  More often it was the father who left, who because it got hard or he couldn’t control the situation, decided to get out. As Elder  Bruce C. Hafen put it,” when the wolf came, they fled.” In a covenant marriage, couples work out their troubles and rely on the Lord to help them through troubling times.  They “sustain and lift each other when the wolf comes.”

We need to realize that Satan is working extra hard these days to destroy families.  He will never have a family and he seeks to make us miserable like unto himself. Knowing this, it should be extra important for us to protect our own families and marriages.  I need to remember those covenants I made at marriage, attend the temple regularly, have family prayer with my spouse, show love and kindness daily, show respect, affection, loyalty and make my spouse my highest priority.

In this covenant marriage, remember that the Lord is the third party in our triangle.  If we keep him in our marriage, we will be happy.  That is His plan.  The Lord wants us to be happy and He wants us to return to him and have all that He has.  We can only do that as a covenant, married couple.

Elder Bednar said, "The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship. Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner.  Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and steadily "come unto Christ'...Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and the woman come close together."

Bednar, D.A. (2006, June). Marriage is essential to his eternal plan. Ensign.
Hafen, B.C. (1996, November). Covenant marriage. Ensign